The Worst Sports Broadcasting Cliches

I have a confession to make. I'm a sports broadcasting snob. I'm sure you've heard of coffee snobs, beer snobs and car snobs. My friend Gooch is a tennis snob, if you can imagine such a thing. The sports broadcast, and the way it comes out, matters to me. My friend McCracken and I recently developed a list of the worst cliches:

6.) When a broadcaster says a team has won its first ever championship. Makes me ask, "What is an ever championship?" Besides, when did "first ever" become a necessary synonym for "first"? First means first. It doesn't mean, "First of a short time period going back to a time you and I can remember, such that if we mean to include all of a franchise's history we need to specify by saying 'first ever.'

5.) Invariably when a pitcher does damage with the bat he's always "helping his own cause." ESPN uses this one a lot.

4.) The score is tied at "2 and 2" A simple "the score is tied at 2" will suffice. No need to get cute.

3.) When football analysts break down a big game at the opening of the telecast, you just know some fool is going to say, "It's going to come down to turnovers" Doesn't it always?

2.) It's not really a cliche but if the game involves a great player, Tom Brady, Albert Pujols or Vlad Guerrero for example, the color analyst openly fellates him. Worse, he rarely, if ever, plays for your team.

1.) Phrases such as "The Big Dance" or the "Second Season". Sentences such as "You can throw those regular season records out the window" usually follow. I'd like to send the broadcaster who uttered it to follow.

Stay tuned for What We Learned Friday....
(I'm sure you have your own list. Email me at caseysboy69@yahoo.com with yours and I'll post the best.)